Investing in Gratitude

Gratitude does not seem to be a naturally occurring impulse. It has to be practiced from a young age to become a lifelong habit. Children develop an attitude of gratitude over time, and hopefully in a way that does not feel like an imposition. We want our children to express thanks with a totally authentic feeling supporting it. It does seem important to teach young children to say “Please” and then “Thank you” even before they appreciate the full meaning of these words. This is best done when parents back this teaching up by continuous example.

Children have to be helped to own their own feelings and still find ways to feel thankful. All emotions are valid so if children have had a bad day we must not lead them to make ‘rote gratitude’. We have an opportunity as parent/mentors to acknowledge a negative experience and still be grateful about something. Young children are used to receiving nurture in the form of food, housing and love. As they get older it is important that they find opportunities to contribute in return to understand thankfulness, and we must remember to thank and praise them when they show it. Developing daily gratitude rituals, at meal times and bed times will be good for starters. Some families use a gratitude box for messages of thanks. Giving to community, showing kindness to others will widen our children’s perspective and build a generous spirit. They will learn about volunteering, looking after the environment, making donations through gifting their resources and willingness to have a go. Parents, guardians and care-givers show every day the sacrifices they make towards nurturing the children in their care. Children will never be able to pay it back. All they can do is pay it forward, and pass on the gift of gratitude, appreciating the silver lining in every adversity they ever face.

After the success of the ‘Nun Study’ twenty years ago, gratitude is now a new field of research along with the study of emotions on physical health. The findings showed that gratefulness strongly enhances resilience in many areas of life. People who have a thankful attitude tend to have more healthy and lasting relationships and that includes those between employer and employee. Grateful people are less likely to envy others because they are more content with their situation. This allows for far more restful sleeps at night. Gratitude minimises a negative outlook and the need to revenge. Most importantly, the research showed that thankful people have improved physical health and greater resilience against disease.  

Being thankful is an important attribute to have in our community. Individuals with this trait contribute to the peace of society. They are protected from resentment and feelings of arrogance. Though this is not necessarily the case for everyone, people have increased gratitude because they believe in a Force greater than themselves. They are humbled by this knowledge. Whichever the case, we do recognise that we can’t do much alone and can’t take credit for most of the things around us that we delight in. Gratitude has to be our best and only response.